Mom Hacks
5 Times Moira Rose Made Me Feel Like A Perfect Mom
This Mother's Day, we're celebrating the flawed but lovable matriarch of the television phenomenon Schitt's Creek.
- Written By
- Liz McDaniel
There are plenty of reasons to fall in love with the cult classic Schitt’s Creek, but we are particularly partial to the Rose family matriarch, Moira. The fallen socialite turned small town theater director is an endless well of enviable ensembles, eccentric parlance and, well, egregious missteps when it comes to her children, Alexis and David. So, this Mother’s Day, we invite all you guilt-ridden moms to give yourself a break and bask in the glow of your own maternal superiority courtesy of Moira Rose.
Here are a few times she got it so wrong that (insert your latest mom fail) will seem right:
When She Brought The Wrong Baby Home From Preschool
If you've ever beaten yourself up over being few minutes late for pick-up, take comfort in the moment when Moira declares that she would never abandon her children. David is quick to remind her of the time she brought the wrong baby home from preschool. "Alexis looked Chinese as an infant!" Moira insists. "How many times must I defend myself?!"
That Time She Forgot Alexis' Middle Name
This one’s for the time you blanked when the doctor asked your child’s birthday for the tenth time, or when someone asks how much your infant weighs and you think, I don’t know, somewhere between ten and twenty pounds. When Moira is filling out papers for Alexis to serve community service, she can’t quite put her finger on her only daughter’s middle name. Rather than own up to the lapse, she turns the tables on Alexis: “We have so many disasters bombarding us right now, my dear, the middle name of an ungrateful child is hardly a priority.”
When She's More Distraught About Her Missing Crocodile Bag Than Her Missing Son
When David goes missing, Moira is not all that worried—she imagines him luxuriating at the Viceroy without her. But when she discovers her prize crocodile bag has gone too? That’s cause for concern. “I’ve kept it safe all these years and now it's out there,” she weeps. “Frightened and alone." To be clear, she’s referring to the bag.
That Awkward Mother-Daughter Lunch
If you’ve ever been accused of playing favorites, you’ll enjoy the cringe-worthy moment when Moira makes a lunch date with Alexis to dispel the notion that she prefers David’s company. Moira comes prepared with questions (in a dark wig and head to toe houndstooth!) and it goes south from there. When Alexis accuses Moira of never asking her to spend time just the two of them, Moira reminds her of the mother-daughter trip she planned to Bordeaux that Alexis refused to go on."That was a wine tasting tour and I was seven years old!" Alexis argues, and she has a point.
Her Selfish Response When David Tells Her He’s Engaged
First, minutes after learning the news of her son’s engagement, Moira utters the words,“What a unanimously disastrous day this has turned out to be!” (In her defense, it is opening night of her precious Cabaret production and the star of the show is missing.)
Then, when the show is over and David finally has the floor, Moira’s phone rings and…she answers it! We’ve all taken a call from the playground, but come on. When your son is announcing his engagement? Adding insult to injury, the news on the line isn’t good. Moira’s movie, the film that is meant to restore her illustrious acting career, has been shelved. So Moira does what any totally selfish and not very good (but somehow still quite lovable) mother would do. She crawls into the closet to cry, successfully robbing the moment of joy and directing all attention to herself.
And you’ve never done that!
Here are a few times she got it so wrong that (insert your latest mom fail) will seem right:
When She Brought The Wrong Baby Home From Preschool
If you've ever beaten yourself up over being few minutes late for pick-up, take comfort in the moment when Moira declares that she would never abandon her children. David is quick to remind her of the time she brought the wrong baby home from preschool. "Alexis looked Chinese as an infant!" Moira insists. "How many times must I defend myself?!"
That Time She Forgot Alexis' Middle Name
This one’s for the time you blanked when the doctor asked your child’s birthday for the tenth time, or when someone asks how much your infant weighs and you think, I don’t know, somewhere between ten and twenty pounds. When Moira is filling out papers for Alexis to serve community service, she can’t quite put her finger on her only daughter’s middle name. Rather than own up to the lapse, she turns the tables on Alexis: “We have so many disasters bombarding us right now, my dear, the middle name of an ungrateful child is hardly a priority.”
When She's More Distraught About Her Missing Crocodile Bag Than Her Missing Son
When David goes missing, Moira is not all that worried—she imagines him luxuriating at the Viceroy without her. But when she discovers her prize crocodile bag has gone too? That’s cause for concern. “I’ve kept it safe all these years and now it's out there,” she weeps. “Frightened and alone." To be clear, she’s referring to the bag.
That Awkward Mother-Daughter Lunch
If you’ve ever been accused of playing favorites, you’ll enjoy the cringe-worthy moment when Moira makes a lunch date with Alexis to dispel the notion that she prefers David’s company. Moira comes prepared with questions (in a dark wig and head to toe houndstooth!) and it goes south from there. When Alexis accuses Moira of never asking her to spend time just the two of them, Moira reminds her of the mother-daughter trip she planned to Bordeaux that Alexis refused to go on."That was a wine tasting tour and I was seven years old!" Alexis argues, and she has a point.
Her Selfish Response When David Tells Her He’s Engaged
First, minutes after learning the news of her son’s engagement, Moira utters the words,“What a unanimously disastrous day this has turned out to be!” (In her defense, it is opening night of her precious Cabaret production and the star of the show is missing.)
Then, when the show is over and David finally has the floor, Moira’s phone rings and…she answers it! We’ve all taken a call from the playground, but come on. When your son is announcing his engagement? Adding insult to injury, the news on the line isn’t good. Moira’s movie, the film that is meant to restore her illustrious acting career, has been shelved. So Moira does what any totally selfish and not very good (but somehow still quite lovable) mother would do. She crawls into the closet to cry, successfully robbing the moment of joy and directing all attention to herself.
And you’ve never done that!